Feliz cumpleaños 

Arturo!!

Having one of those days   

If only i could pack my bags and start afresh somewhere new !!!

anyone want to run away with me ? lol

been looking at some crap on the net so thought i would share some of the stuff with you ...

ok 1st we have a remix of I will survive ....

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,

That i grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on...
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French Fry!
I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those
jeans!
Go on now - go, ! Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
with a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

next we have a  'What am i ? '

This useful tool, commonly found in the range of eight inches long, the functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes is usually hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other. When used it is inserted, almost always willingly, somtimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again many times in succession, often quickly, and accompanied by squirming bodily movements.

Anyone found listening in will most surely recognise the rhythmic pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements.

When finally drawn out, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening, and some from its long glistening shaft.

After everything is done, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less.

What am I?

next we have something about the english language

Reasons why
the English language
is so hard to learn.
 
  1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
  2.. The farm was used to produce produce. 
  3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
  4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
  5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
  6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 
  7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 
  8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
  9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object. 
11. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 
12. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 
13. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? 
14. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 
15. They were too close to the door to close it. 
16. The buck does funny things when the does are present. 
17. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 
18. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 
19. The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 
20. After a number of injections my jaw got number. 
21. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 

 Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. 

Next some sex facts :-

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the
animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal are
punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is
prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may
only see their reflection in a mirror.

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also
applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered
with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside
and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having
sex for the first time... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden
for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job
anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous
husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on
the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in
tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the
first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman
and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough
problem that they had to pass this law?)

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with
one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine
only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the
premises." (Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)

Obviously ive been pretty bored to of been looking at all this stuff , but have to pass the time away somehow lol

One last thing some questions

1. Whats your Name?
2. Are we close?
3. What do you think of me?
4. Do you hav a crush on me?
5. Would u kiss me?
6. would u fuk me?
7. Describe me in 3 words?
8. If u Had Me for 30 Mins wat would you do?
9. What was ur first impression of me?
10. Do u still think the same?
11.. What reminds u of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do u know me?
14. What do u like best about me?
15. Ever wanted 2 tell me something u could'nt?
16. Could you ever love me?
17. Give me a nickname and explain why?
18.R u gona put this on ur blog and c wat i say bout u?
19.Anything 2 say b4 u go?

Got these sent to me , so thought i would post them back on here

not that anyone ever reads these things lol

                        silly questions

• why doesnt superglue stick to the inside of the bottle ?

• whats the difference between a novel and a book ?

• can you cry underwater ?

• would you die if you didnt pee ?

• why doesnt broccoli come in a tin?

• can you read a picture book ?

• how come toy hippos are always blue or purple , when real hippos are brown ?

• why dont you ever see baby pigeons?

• do one legged ducks swim in circles?

• how can you hear yourself think ?

• where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg ?

• why do you click on start to Exit microsoft windows ?

• if pringles are 'so good that once you pop , you cant stop ' why do they come with a resealable lid ?

• if practice makes perfect , but nobodys perfect , then why practice at all ?

• why is there a light in the fridge , but not in the freezer ?

• why do they call it your 'bottom ' when its in the middle of your body ?

• what does OK actually mean ?

• what do you say when someone says your in denial , but your not ?

• why do round pizza's come in square boxes?

• if heat rises ,then wouldnt Hell be cold ?

• if you are old and in a bath , how would you know if youve been in it to long ?

• if nobody buys a ticket to watch a movie , do they still show it ?

• if humans evolved from monkeys and apes , why are they still here ?